It's almost done

As the program winds down, and everything comes to a end, looking back it's surprising the amount that I've done here. The program itself is a little unconventional and not exactly what I was thinking it was going to be, but it was exactly what I needed. Coming to Thailand I felt that there was a void, that something in my life just wasn't being fulfilled. I was quiet nervous about coming here and about what was going to happen. Was I going to find out more about myself? Was I going to change my career path? was I going to even come back to the states? to be completely honest, those are all questions that I asked myself many many times. I had alot of internal conflicts to think about through out this program, and while I don't think I've hashed out any of them, I do think I've gained the proper insist I needed for myself.

Firstly I know FOR A FACT that what ever I do in the future, I has to involve some type of activist work. Weather I become a doctor, go to graduate school, Or just end up coming back and living in Thailand, I have to be doing something that makes a difference. There are so many people in the world that have no desire to do anything for any one else, so many people who are apathetic, and even more that would love to help but physical just can't because they have too many problems of their own, so why should I , a person who has been blessed with such opportunity and chance not do my best to help make the world better. It would make no sense for me not to even try.

Secondly, I've learned an incredible amount about myself. I have to say my level of confidence has gone up increasingly. I am not only impressed by my ability to engross myself in to a completely different culture, I'm ever impressed by my ability to learn and grow as a person, and learn about the things I do as a person, and accept them instead of fight them. What I;m really impressed about is my reaction to the "slump." As much as I loved Thailand, I'm not going to lie, I went through a pretty bad slump. but after a few days of it, I just thought to myself" what the hell am I doing?" Why be in a slump. I was in fucking Thailand. There no excuses. Enjoy every part of it while your here because in another month your going to be back in Boston, at the info commons working on something that you really have no desire to work on. So as you realize this, transfer it on to your life ahead. Live for the day. the most out used phrase of the day to day optimist, but it works. In some sense i don't think I really understood how to go about abiding by that quote..... until now.